Shaman King TV
by Oo kAwAii-aBiEkAiRi oO
Summary: Randomness! The Shaman king cast stars in different hilarious Philippine commercials! some of you won't understand the setting and stuff but try reading it, it's in english and it's very funny! Dedicated to all the FILIPINOS here! READ and REVIEW people!
1. Rejoice Shampoo

**Shaman King TV**

**By: Kawaii-abiekairi.**

**Disclaimer:** We don't own Shaman King. Nu-uh. Not in a billion gazillion years! (Abie: I just wish I own it! REN-SAMA I LOVE YOU!) Oh yeah, and also the commercials. We don't own them either.

**Authors' Notes:** This is dedicated to all the Filipinos in Hope you enjoy reading this!

**REJOICE: INSTANT AYOS**

**Abie:** There were two girls namely, Pilika and Chocolove (in a girl's outfit and a wig), walking along the streets with shopping bags over their shoulder.

**Pilika:** Y'know, I'm just so TOTALLY tired of shopping, like, y'know.

**Chocolove (in an annoying girly voice):** Yeah, y'know, like, totally. –giggles- ohohoho!

**Kairi:** Suddenly, a strong gust of wind passed by.

**Wind (frat boy accent) :** just passin' by, just passin' by….whooooo…yeah, whoo…I'm gonna get some tacos…duhahahaha…

**Abie:** And it blew everything…including the girls' perfect hair. Uh…ALMOST perfect hair. Oh wait, that was a lie. It's actually "Ugly and Monstrous hair" (especially Chocolove's).

**Chocolove:** Hey, I heard that!

**Pilika: **-pouts- my hair's not ugly!

**Kairi:** WhatEVER. Continue on. Anyway-------

**Chocolove and Pilika:** AAAAHHHHHH!

**Pilika:** My hair is, like, totally, ruined!

**Chocolove:** Uhhh! My perfect wig---uh---hair!

**Abie:** They tried to fix their uglier and more monstrous hair but it was no use. (DUH! There's no hope for them!)

**Kairi:** And alas, the wind returned again, carrying a bag of tacos.

**Wind:** yeah, I got my tacos, man…duhahahaha…..

**Abie:** At the same time, a guy with oh-so-shiny-beautiful-UNmonstrous-perfect---- (received glares from the two)

**Chocolove**: alright, alright. We get it!

**Pilika:** He has perfect hair and we don't! –glare-

**Kairi:** Ehem...Anyway, the guy with PERFECT hair, named Hao-----

**Rabid Hao Fangirls:** Hao-sama! Aishiteru!

**Hao:** -flips hair and winks-

**Rabid Hao Fangirls:** -faints one by one, in a chain reaction-

**Abie:** When will you let us finish our sentence? –grits teeth- ANYWAY! –pauses, looks around if ever there is an objection- Good. –clears throat- Hao passed by and got his hair ruined too by the annoying frat boy-accented wind.

**Wind:** yaaahhh….frat boy roooollllzzzzzz…peace out, dude!...I'm gonna eat my tacos now!...

**kairi:** -ignores- Pilika and Chocolove noticed Hao how (LOL! Oo;) fixed his extremely beautiful hair by combing it with his fingers.

**Hao:** -combs hair with fingers- Yeah, like, you know, you like my hair… -circles around Pilika and Chocolove, gloating about his hair- My hair is soooo beautiful.

**Pilika and Chocolove:** -glares-

**Abie: **And with one stroke, his hair was restored back to its usual shiny look. Hao then enters the Hair Spa.

**Pilika and Chocolove:** -followed Hao into the Hair Spa and asked- Is this the Hair Spa for models like you?

**Hao:** Model? Model employee!

**Pilika and Chocolove:** huh? -looks at each other-

**Kairi:** Use Rejoice Rich. For Instant "Ayos"!

**Shaman King Casts:** What does "ayos" mean?

**Abie:** it means "fix", man.

**Shaman King Casts:** ooohhhhhhhhhhh…….okay!

**Kairi:** -sighs- At last. Tune in for the next showing of Shaman King TV! _Where it overs your soul!_ Oo;

**Yoh:** -sweatdrops- uh… "where it overs your soul"? man, that sucks! Who's the idiot who thought about that stupid slogan!

**Abie:** Yeah! It sucks! Curses to the one who made that! You'll never live another day! Hear me! You'll never---

Suddenly, someone from backstage arrived.

**Studio Manager: **What do you mean "curses to the one who made that"! it was YOU GUYS who wrote this remember! You signed the contract! Look! –shows signed contract then runs out of the stage-

**Shaman King Casts: **-glares at Abie and Kairi-

**Abie and Kairi:** -gulps- Ahehehe…oopsies? Nyuuuu! –runs away-

**TO BE CONTINUED…**

**Authors' Notes:** lolololol! Hope you liked that one! Please review!...thank you!


	2. AXE Deospray

**Shaman King TV**

**By: kawaii-abiekairi**

**Disclaimer: oO **You know already. So don't sue us, okay?

**Kairi's Notes: **I hope someone's reading this. OR ELSE! I KNOW WHERE YOU ALL LIVE! I will burn your house down! Mwahahahaha! o

**AXE BODY SPRAY**

**Kairi: **We see a tall, Elvis look-alike named Ryu, walking dashingly along the streets of Tokyo.

**Ryu: **-walking- Yeah, I'm walking dashingly! –strikes a pose- thank you, thank you very much!

**Abie**: Uh-huh…While he was walking, he passed by two girls. One was standing beside a sitting girl reading a newspaper.

**Anna (in a black tank top): **I look silly in this stupid outfit.

**Kairi: **Nah, you don't look silly. You look sexy! In fact, Yoh's drooling ON me. –hits Yoh- STOP DROOLING ON ME!

**Yoh: **-drools- Oh Anna……

**Anna: **-raises an eyebrow- Remind me to kill Yoh later.

**Abie: **Anyway……the girl reading a newspaper…

**Pilika: **-laughs loudly while reading the comic strip section-

**Abie: **I said, "THE GIRL READING A NEWSPAPER"!

**Pilika: **huh? Oh sorry!... –plays with some strands of her hair as she read the newspaper-

**Kairi: **Our Elvis look-alike passed by and blew our girls away.

**Anna: **-hits the ground then glares at Ryu- You smell, man!

**Pilika: **-falls off her chair- OUCH! Ever thought of taking a bath!

**Ryu: **-confused- Huh? What's wrong with them? –continues walking-

**Abie: **Yoh was jogging nearby-----WHAT THE! YOH! STOP DROOLING OVER ANNA AND DO YOUR PART!

**Yoh: **-wipes drool- OH! Oh yeah!... –jogs-

**Kairi: **When Ryu came along, Yoh was also blown away, making him fall down a manhole. –opens manhole-

**Yoh: **Huh? WHA-----! AAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhh! -falls into the bottomless manhole- AAHHHHH!... –continues-

**Anna: **Don't remind me anymore about killing Yoh. –grins evilly-

**Abie: **Ryu passed by the park where Horo Horo was skating expertly.

**Horo: **-does a backflip- YEAH! I ROCK! \m/

**Kairi: **Then, out of nowhere, Ryu walked past him. Like the girls and –emphasize- YOH—

**Yoh: **-still falling- AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhh…..WEEEEEEE! this is kinda fun! Woohoo! I'm flying without wings!...superman!...matrix!...look ma, no hands!...titanic!...-imitates Kate- Jack, catch me, Jack!...

**Kairi**: Uh…pardon Yoh. His headphones are just too tight…Anyway, Horo was also blown away. He slid from his skateboard and he fell. His board fell over him.

**Horo: **

**Kairi: **Aww…my poor Horo Horo…

**Abie: -**coughs- excuse me, the story

**Kairi: **oh…ahehehe…-coughs as well-

**Abie: **oookayy…

**Horo: **Use a deodorant, dude!

**Ryu: **-raises an eyebrow- what do you mean by that! I'm extremely sweet-smelling, for your information! –continues walking-

**Abie: **And then, -sighs dreamily- a guy with violet pointy hair in a bicycle arrived- REN-SAMA! I LOVE YOU!

**Kairi: **-coughcoughSTORYcoughcough-

**Abie: **oh yeah.

**Ryu: **-approaches Ren- HEY SHORTPANTS!

**Ren: **oO; huh? Don't come near me---ACK! –hits the back of a parked car- AAHHH! –gets thrown away to infinity-

**Ryu: **oO; What's wrong with everyone?

**Abie: **Waaahhh!...Ren-sama! –looks for Ren- Take over, Kairi!

**Kairi: **-sighs-Look how dangerous you could become, Ryu.

**Ryu: **-blinks- what are you guys talking about? –smells himself- oO; yikes! I DO smell! I have to take a shower! But first! –runs to the nearest mini mart to buy deodorant-

**Kairi: **agreen haired lady was checking her nails on the counter…

**Jun: **-yawns- I think I broke a nail.

**Kairi: **Ryu entered the shop and ran in front of the counter where Jun was. She got tossed to a shelf full of canned pickles. The cans fell on her head and she fell on the floor, swirly-eyed.

**Jun: ** ow…

**Ryu: **eep!

**Kairi: **Ryurushed to the deodorant aisle and grabbed an……

**Ryu: **-strikes a pose- AXE DEO-SPRAY!

**Kairi: **(narrates while Ryu was spraying the body spray all over him in the background) So, if you have bad odor, use AXE DEO-SPRAY!

**Abie: **-pops out from nowhere- From UNILEVER!

**Kairi: **OO ack! You scared me! Where did you come from!

**Abie: **Duh. From my parents! What kind of question is that!

**Kairi: **-glares- Whatever. Anyway, we now see a newly-showered and scented Ryu, walking dashingly once more towards a shop with glass windows.

**Abie: **Then Ryu saw a woman arranging a mannequin from inside the shop.

**Ryu: **Hey there my pretty lady! –winks-

**Kairi: **The girl slowly turned around and revealed the face of……CHOCOLOVE!

**Chocolove (in a wig and make-up): **-in the same annoying hi-pitched voice- Hi there, handsome! –winks and sticks on the glass window, as if Ryu was a magnet-

**Ryu: **UGHHH! YUCK! –runs away- AAAAHHHHHH!

**Chocolove: **Wait! I want to get to know you better! –gets an ice pick and breaks the window- RYUUUUUU! –chases after Ryu-

**Ryu: **-goes to the manhole- MASTER YOH! WAIT FOR ME! I'm coming with you! –jumps into the hole- AAAHHHHH!

**Yoh: **-relaxed and reading Shonen Jump- OH hi there Ryu! Nice of you to JUMP by! I've been here for hours now so I decided to read our manga!...oh wow! Anna looks hot here too! Hey! It even has a free poster of Anna!

**Ryu: **At least I'm safe from that disgusting cross dresser. –sighs with relief-

**Chocolove: **-beside Ryu- Hi Ryu! –sends a flying kiss-

**Ryu: **AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! XX

**Kairi: **-covers manhole- And that was another presentation of Shaman King TV!

**Abie: **Where it overs your soul!

**Shaman King Cast (except for Yoh, Ryu and Chocolove): **-gets mallet- STOP IT WITH THE CORNY SLOGAN!

**Abie and Kairi: **AAAHHHH! –opens manhole and dives inside- AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!...Hey, Yoh's Right! It is kinda fun!

**To Be Continued…**

**Authors' Notes: **oO uhm…what do you guys think? Corny enough? . review please!


	3. Koko Crunch!

**Shaman King TV**

**By: kawaii-abiekairi**

**Disclaimer: Refer to the Disclaimer of Chapter 1**.

**Abie's Notes: **in this chapter my Ren-sama is going to star in this one! By the way, a special thanks to my sister; Audrey for helping me think of some funny commercial ideas. Thanks little sis!

**KOKO CRUNCH CEREAL**

**Abie: **One sunny morning, we see a young boy with –sighs dreamily- a pointy violet hair in the kitchen wearing –sighs- cute polka dot pajamas. Oh Ren-sama, I'm sorry! It's Kairi's idea! –scolds Kairi- WHY POLKA DOTS!

**Kairi: **Enough chitchat. Just tell the story! –snickers-

**Ren: **KISAMA!I want to go home. I'll sue my manager for making me join this freak circus!

**Kairi: **Fine, no polka dots… instead, -grins- let's make you wear pink bunny pajamas!

**Ren: **Oo; ack! I'll stick with polka dots…

**Abie: **NOOOOOOOO! Why do you torture my love so much!

**Kairi: **BECAUSE…just because.

**Abie:** -pouts**- **You're mean. –sulks-

**Kairi: **I know. I like being mean! Anyway, Ren, in a polka dot pajama, was eating his favorite breakfast cereal-----KOKO CRUNCH!

**Ren: **eat. Eat. Eat. –munches on some cereal- this sucks.

**Abie: **And his power spirit, Bason, came.

**Bason: **Why do I have to do this?

**Kairi: **Because I said so! Start acting, Fat-so!

**Bason: **I'm---I'm not…FAT!

**Kairi: **Yeah, yeah, whatever. Just do your part…KOKO.

**Bason: **Harrumph. –puts on an annoying Koko voice- lalalalala…vocalizing….mimimimi…

**Ren: **Would you just get on with it so we can finish this stupid commercial already! Geez!

**Bason: **oO; uh, yes master Ren!...-clears throat and puts on that annoying Koko voice again- Master Ren, can I have Koko Crunch for breakfast?

**Ren: **-sarcastically- Only if you tell me why it's so chocolatey?...this is stupid. Can I go home now?

**Kairi: **But we've only just begun!

**Abie: **Please Ren-sama, do this for meeeee…… -bats eyes-

**Ren: **Whatever.

**Bason: **-story mode- One day, a horde of robbers stole all the chocolate from the village.

**Villager 1 (Horo Horo): **-running around in circles- THE CHOCOLATE! SAVE THE CHOCOLATE!

**Villager 2 (Manta): **Aaaahh! The chocolate! It's been stolen! We have to-----ACK! –gets stomped on by the stampeding villagers-

**Robber 1 (Ryu): -**carrying a two bags full of yummy chocolate**- **nyahahaha! Fools! We have stolen all your chocolate! Now our plans will be fulfilled!

**Robber 2 (Yoh): **What plans? You only stole the chocolate so you can make your so-called Famous Indestructible Chocolate Chip Muffins------mmmpphhh!

**Ryu: **-covers Yoh's mouth- ssh! Don't blow my cover! Are you trying to ruin my reputation!

**Yoh: **-sweat drops- whatever you say.

**Ryu: **Now let's go to our hideout! We have to melt this yummy chocolate in time!

**Yoh: **Uh-huh.

**Ryu: **And don't forget, we still have to preheat the oven!

**Yoh: **Yeah yeah, I get your point. Now let's go! –rides horse-

**Bason: **Luckily, two warriors came to the rescue! –wears a ninja costume complete with weapons-

**Ren: **-in ninja costume as well- great. First, polka dot pajamas. And now THIS itchy ninja costume? –scratches and chases after the robbers-

**Manta: **-on the ground, crawling after being stampeded by the villagers- aahhhhh…thank goodness…the great warriors have come…Hail great war----AAAAHHH! –gets run over by the robbers' horses-

**In the Robbers' secret hideout….**

**Ryu:** -holds a huge churner- mwahahaha! No one can stop me from stirring this awfully yummy chocolate!

**Yoh: **Idiot. Doesn't he know there's a better way to melt the damn chocolate? Like THIS electric mixer! –holds out mixer-

**Ryu: **-gets mixer from Yoh- ooooohhhh… -starts pounding the mixer on the chocolate- What kind of---! It doesn't work!

**Yoh: **Stupid! You have to plug it first!

**Ryu: **oops. Okay! –plugs mixer-

And when he was about to dunk the mixer into the chocolate…

**Bason: **Not so fast, Mojo Jojo!

**Ren: **eh? –looks at Bason-

**Ryu: **Mojo Jojo? Who the hell is that!

**Bason: **oops! Wrong cartoon.

**Ren: **Alright! Let's just break that damn cauldron and get this over with! –gets star blades from belt-

**Bason: **aha! I'm behind you, Master Ren! –gets star blades but unfortunately, his belt got included as well, making his pants drop to the floor, revealing pink boxers adorned with cute bunny prints- oO; ack! Oops, sorry! –fixes pants-

**Ren and Bason: **-throws star blades at the cauldron, making it crack-

**Bason: **-narrating- They broke the cauldron and the chocolate flooded all over the wheat fields! And POOF! It became KOKO CRUNCH! –end of story mode-

**Ren: **Finally!----uhh---I mean, THAT'S GREAT, Bason! –lets him eat a bowl of Koko Crunch-

**Bason: **KOKO CRUNCH! –grabs bowl and munches on the cereal-

**Abie and Kairi: **-asleep and got awaken by Bason's shouting- huh?

**Kairi: **is it over?

**Abie: **oh, oh! Let ME say the slogan! Let ME say the slogan!

**Kairi: **Uh…no one's stopping you, Abie.

**Abie: **Yay!...-clears throat- KOKO CRUNCH! The breakfast cereal with the great chocolatey taste!

**Kairi: **and….CUT! we're over!

**Ren: **aaahhhhh Thank you! –went to dressing room-

**Bason: **I must've looked ridiculous back there. –follows Ren-

**Abie and Kairi: **You said it.

**Kairi: **-to Abie- So, wanna get coffee or something?

**Abie: **Sure! And a donut too! I love donuts!

**Kairi: **with CHOCOLATE filling! –walks to the door-

**Abie: **-follows Kairi- oh yeah, speaking of chocolate, where are Ryu and Yoh?

**Kairi: **Nah…forget them. Coffee's waiting! –closes studio door-

Meanwhile, on the chocolate flood setting, Ryu and Yoh were turned into chocolate statues.

**Ryu: **Uhm...hello? is someone out there? I can't move!...

**Yoh: **get us outta here!...i'm getting a cramp!...ooh! I found a dollar! I just---can't---reach----it!...ugh!

**To Be Continued…**

**Authors' Notes: **Was it funny? Pleaseeee tell us it was funny…just by reviewing! We'd appreciate that! Thank you!


	4. Kitkat: We can't wait to have a break!

**Shaman King TV**

**By: kawaii-abiekairi**

**Disclaimer: We do not own SHAMAN KING or any of its characters. We don't own Star Wars, Harry Potter, The Matrix and The Ring as well. So sad. **

**Kairi's Notes: Uhm…thank you so much for the reviews! We appreciated it! If you review enough, we MIGHT include you in the next chapter! so, again, READ AND REVIEW! (Warning: Out of Characterness!)**

**KIT KAT (We can't wait to have a break!)**

**Kairi: **The beach of Funbari, a calm and exquisite place to be. The ocean waves dance with the cold breeze. The dolphins play along the aquatic abode. The seagulls chirp happily as the ships sail towards the beautiful orange sunset and-----

**Abie: **EHEM! –gritted teeth- Kairi, I think that's enough introduction for now. I just THINK so.

**Kairi: **Oh. Sorry. Anyway, as I was saying, the ships sail towards---yes, Abie, I'm getting to that—towards the beautiful orange sunset and a couple was walking hand in hand along the shore.

**(Enter Anna and Yoh)**

**Anna: **-smiling falsely, eyebrow twitching with irritation- Those two better pay me BIG…

**Yoh: **-all smiles- It's a wonderful day, isn't it, Anna-chan? –squeezes Anna's hand gently-

**Anna: **-nods head, a fake smile still visible- Uh huh. Yes, it is indeed. –mutters- darn brats.

**Kairi: **-megaphone**- **Excuse me?Have you forgotten that you are WEARING a lapel MICROPHONE? We can hear you clearly, you know.

**Anna: **-coughs- sorry. –purses lips-

**Abie: **-megaphone- HEY ANNA!

**Kairi: **-gets blown away by Abie's voice- **ABIE! **You're using a MEGAPHONE already, for Pete's sake! DON"T SHOUT!

**Abie: **aheheh…sorry. Uhm……Anna, you forgot, you have an IMPORTANT line to say remember?

**Anna: **Argh! Over my dead body! I'll never say it! Never!...well, not until we're…a little older…that is.

**Kairi: **-flashes an envelope- hey Anna! Do you know what this is? –grins evilly-

**Anna: **-rolls eyes- DUH. An envelope!

**Yoh: **-swings Anna's hand and goes to his dreamland- Uh…I'm finally holding Anna's hand…I must be in heaven…coz I'm feeling the silky smooth hand of an angel… -drools-

**Kairi: **Yes, an envelope. That's right. BUT…do you know what's INSIDE it? Wanna have a peek? –slowly reveals a picture of a woman with short blond hair and------

**Anna: **YAAAAA! –wiggles arms, causing Yoh to wake up- NO! DON'T!

**Yoh: **-sees envelope- Huh? Hey, what's in that envelope?

**Anna: **-goes red- N-No! N-Nothing's in there! Really! Let's continue on shall we?

**Yoh: **Okay!

**Kairi and Abie: **-giggles evilly in the background-

**Abie: **Anna, the LINE. The LINE!

**Anna: **-groans- Ugh!...-turns to Yoh and smiles sweetly but, alas, FALSELY- Yoh?

**Yoh: **-smiles sweetly as well- Yes, Anna-chan?

**Anna: **-pauses- I………

**Yoh: **Yes?

**Anna: **I……oh, darn……uh…Yoh, I…

**Yoh: -**smiling widely- I'm waiting, Anna-chan.

**Anna: **I… UGHHHHH…oh what the heck, YOH I LOVE YOU.

**Yoh: **You do? –holds both Anna's hands-

**Anna: **-blushes and looks away- Uh…d-don't look at me like that! T-this is just a fanfiction, remember?

**Yoh: **Oh, yeah. –sighs- Well…I love you too.

**Shaman King Casts (including Abie and Kairi): **woohoo! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!

**Anna: **-blushes more- If you guys don't shut up I'll give you all one million push ups!

**Yoh: **-blushes as well-

**SK Casts: **Uh………. –scampers away-

**Abie: **Alright, alright. Enough lovey-dovey! Let's get on with the commercial!

**Kairi: **you know, I suddenly felt the urge to eat chocolate.

**Abie: **KAI! –shakes Kairi- Snap out of your randomness and let's do our fic!

**Kairi: ** Uh, okay! HEY, chocolate! What a coincidence! –picks chocolate bar from the floor- I'm feeling lucky! –eats chocolate-

**Abie: **-sighs- alright, are you happy now? Can you now continue telling the story?

**Kairi: **Yup! –wipes mouth and licks fingers-

**Abie: **-ignores- Now, Yoh and Anna were-----

**BURPPPPPPPPPPPP! **

**Abie: **WHOA.

**Kairi: **whoopsies! Ahehehhehe……excuse me!

**SK CAST: **huh? –bulging eyes-

**Abie: **That. Was. Gross…ANYWAY! Our couple, Yoh and Anna, saw a bar of Kitkat from far far away. It was sitting there, alone on the table, waiting for someone to eat it up. The two were addicted to Kitkat that they glared at each other and started to get to the table first.

**Yoh: **I'm gonna get that Kitkat first! –runs to the table-

**Anna: **No way! –trips Yoh-

**Yoh: -**falls face first in the sand- ACK!

**Anna: **BWAHAHA! Kitkat's mine! –runs-

**Yoh: **-lifts head from the sand- oh yeah? –grabs Anna by the ankles which made her fall face first in the sand also, he ran ahead of Anna-

**Anna: **ASAKURA! –stands up and gets a machine gun from nowhere-

**Yoh: **-looks back and sees Anna's weapon- Argh! KYOUYAMA! –gets Rocket Launcher-

**Anna: **-fires Machine Gun- I—aaaaa----aaaammm----g-g-gonnna----g-g-get t-t-that K-K-Kitkat---w-w-whether—y-y-y-you---l-l-like---i-i-it---or----n-n-n-not! AAAHHHHHH!

**Yoh: **-ducks and shoots launchers one by one- Oh. **BOOM! **Yeah! **BOOM! **Well! **BOOM! **Not if I **BOOM! **Get there! **BOOM! **First!** BOOM! –**rolls ala Rambo-

**Anna: **-in slow motion, ducks the rockets by doing the famous Matrix move-

**Yoh: **-runs out of Rockets- DAMN IT! –throws weapon away and continues to run-

**Anna: **-pants and throws her gun- Not so fast, Asakura! –runs after Yoh-

**Yoh: **-stops and poses like a Martial Artist- HAAAIIIIIIAAAAA! –jumps like a ninja-

**Anna: **-glares at him and does the same- YAAAAHHHHHH!

**Yoh: **Yaahh! I'll give you the HAPPY DANCE OF DOOM! –dances like a ballerina, scattering flower petals along the way- Lalalalalala!

**Anna: **Nooooo! –falls on her knees- The handsomeness of Yoh! Stop! Make it stop! If you weren't so handsome I'll---UGHHHH!

**Yoh: **hahahah! Resistance is futile!...-faces the camera- If you wanna learn how to do the Happy Dance Of Doom, please contact Hao, my evil twin brother, and he'll give you a free Rejoice Shampoo! –winks and continues to run-

**Anna: **-recovers and displays her own martial art technique- Now it's my turn! HOPPING BUNNY OF DEATH! –tramples on Yoh, hopping madly-

**Yoh: **-gets buried in the sand- ACKKKK!

**Anna: **-grins triumphantly and dusts her hands- Hmp! That'll teach you, Mr. Happy Dancer! –faces camera- If you wanna learn the Hopping Bunny Of Death, contact my dead bunny Tropples! And now…back to our regularly featured program!... –dashes to the table-

**Yoh: -**climbs out of the sand like Sadako, with his hair covering his face- **KYOUYAMA! **–breathes heavily and gets his cellular phone, he dials Anna's number-

**Anna: **-relaxing on a hammock, sipping tropical punch- now, where the hell is Yoh?... –suddenly, her cellphone rang- Who's calling in the middle of the sunset? –flips cellphone open- Anna Kyouyama speaking! Who's this?

**Yoh: **Oh hi Anna!...I just want to tell you something.

**Anna: **Oh it's you, Yoh! Where are you? I've been waiting for you for ages!

**Yoh: **Never mind that. What I was going to say is… -in creepy Sadako voice- You will die within 7 seconds if you don't give up that Kitkat!

**Anna: **-looks at watch and waits for 7 seconds- one…two…three….four…five…six…seven…NOPE! Still alive! HA!

**Yoh: **Damn it! I thought she was gonna fall for that one! Oh well, hey Anna, wait for me, will you?

**Anna: **Okay. –throws cellphone away and waits-

**Chocolove: **-picks up cellphone- OHMIGOSH! It's the latest MOKIA 5110 Eye! I've always wanted to have one of these! Oh joy! –disappears-

**Yoh: **-arrives- Hi Anna! Did I keep you waiting?

**Anna: **Nah, not really. Shall we continue?

**Yoh: **We shall.

Yoh and Anna dashed together and entered another scenario from a famous movie.

**Yoh: -**stops and gets lightsaber- -in Luke Skywalker voice- Anna, we meet again.

**Anna: **-gets lightsaber too and talks in Darthvader voice- And so it seems, young Shaman.

**Yoh: **Let's finish this once and for all. –turns on Lightsaber- Ohh! It's green! –points saber at Anna-

Yoh's lightsaber drooped like jelly from its handle.

**Yoh: **HUH! –shakes the jelly lightsaber- What the hell?...oh, wait a minute… -licks saber- OOH! Tastes like Lime!

**Anna: **-opens lightsaber too- hey! Mine's red! –licks saber- Mmm! Strawberry! My favorite!

The two continued to lick their lightsabers…until the delicious jelly were all gone…

**Yoh: **Awww… it's all gone!...how are we supposed to do the fight scene?

**Anna: **I know! Maybe we could just pretend that we still have glowing lightsabers!

**Yoh: **But what about the sound effects?

**Anna: **Nah, that's a piece of cake. We can do that.

**Yoh: **Well, okay!...-poses once more, pointing his saber at Anna- Anna Vader, this is your doom!

**Anna: **Yoh Skywalker!

Yoh and Anna fought each other as they hummed the Star Wars theme song.

**Yoh: **-swings invisible lightsaber- Boing! Boing! Boing!

**Anna: **Your sound effect sucks, man!

**Yoh: **What do you care! Boing! Boing! HA! I hit you!

**Anna: **No you didn't! Slash! Slash! Slash! I said, SLASH!

**Yoh: ** -pretends to get hit- Ugh! You hit me!...-clutches stomach- h-how could you do this t-to me?...

**Anna: **I guess it's too late to say this…But Yoh…I. Am. Your. Fiancée.

**Yoh: **-gasps- NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO--------oh wait, yeah! Of course, you are!

**Anna: **Aheheh…I just wanted to be dramatic, so there. There might be talent scouts out there. –faces other way- You know, looking for talented actresses like me! ohohohoho! –realizes that Yoh wasn't there anymore- HUH! YOH! DARN IT!

**Yoh: **-continues to run- wahahaha! I'm gonna get to the Kitkat first!

**Anna: **No way! –grabs wand from nowhere- WINGARDIUM LEVI-OH-SA!

**Yoh: **-levitates- AAHHH! –grabs wand from nowhere also- It's not Levi-oh-sa, it's LEVI-OHSA!

**Anna: **Whatever! What's the difference anyway! –levitates Yoh to the water and dropped him there-

**Yoh: **-dogpaddles- Ack! –walks out of the water-

**Anna: **at last! The Kitkat is mine!

The table was now inches away and Anna was about to reach the chocolate bar. But amazingly, Yoh caught up.

**Yoh: **In your dreams! –extends arm-

**Anna: **-groans and extends arm too-

The couple's hands accidentally missed the chocolate and grabbed each other's hand instead. They paused and looked at each other.

**Yoh: **-blushes-

**Anna: **-blushes as well and avoided his gaze-

**Yoh: **-lets go of Anna's hand- Uh…the Kitkat's yours….you can have it…

**Anna: **Uh...No. Y-You should have it. You got it first…

**Yoh: **No…You did. –nudges Anna playfully-

**Anna: **No…YOU did. –nudges his back and giggles-

**Yoh: **I said, YOU did.

**Anna: **No, YOU.

**Yoh: **YOU.

**Anna: **YOU!

**Kairi: **is someone going to eat the Kitkat or what! We already accumulated 5 pages already!

**Yoh and Anna: **Sorry….. –looks at each other- Share? –blushes-

**Anna: **Uh…okay!Ahehe…

**Yoh: **-opens Kitkat and breaks it in two, he hands the other half to Anna- Here you go.

**Anna: **-takes it gratefully- Thanks.

Unfortunately, Anna's Kitkat fell on the sandy ground. She whimpered.

**Yoh: **Aww…it's alright. We can share mine. –breaks his Kitkat in two and gives her the other half-

**Anna: **But----

**Yoh: **-gets her hand and placed the chocolate on her palm- It's okay!

**Anna: **-blushes- Thanks….again.

Chocolove entered the scene and ate the fallen Kitkat.

**Chocolove: **Oohh…Kitkat! Crunchy!... –drools-

**Yoh and Anna: **-looks at each other and squinted-

**Chocolove: **By the way, thanks for the cellphone, Anna. I love it!

**Abie: **Kitkat!

**Kairi: **Have a break. Have a Kitkat!

**Abie: **Free Kitkats for everyone!

**SK Cast: **YAY!

**Kairi: **And that was another crazy episode of Shaman King TV! _Where it overs your soul!_ -get hits by flying Kitkats- -falls on the floor, unconscious-

**Abie: **Oh no! Kai!... –gets hit by flying Kitkats as well-

**To be Continued….**

**Kairi's Notes: **Whew! Thought we'd never finish that! That was soooo long! But funny!...well, I really hope you liked it! Reviewers, thank you once again! Keep on reviewing and who knows? You might get featured next chapter!


	5. Fita Crackers :

**Shaman King TV**

**By: kawaii-abiekairi**

**Disclaimer: We do not own SHAMAN KING or any of its characters…**

**Abie's Notes: Thanks for the reviews! This is dedicated to my cousin, who likes Shaman King a lot and he looks a lot like Yoh (I mean, REALLY, looks like Yoh) except he doesn't have the headphones. Lou's his name, by the way, and Kairi has a HUGE crush on him! Teehee:3**

**FITA Crackers:-)**

**Abie: **OH NO! Kairi! –grabs Kairi by the collar- We don'thave anymore ideas for Shaman King TV!

**Shaman King Casts: **YAY!

**Kairi: **-bored face- I'm hungry. I wanna eat some Fita.

**Abie: **-shakes Kairi- KAI! THIS IS NOT THE TIME TO THINK OF FOOD! We're having a major problem here!

**Kairi: **But I'm hungry. And I can't stop thinking about munching those crunchy Fita's…

**Abie: **Fita! I thought you like…Skyflakes!

**Kairi: **Uh…I dunno…but I'm craving for Fita today…

**Abie: **UGH! –lets go of Kai- Fine! I'll go buy you a Fita-----uh…I just had an idea!

**Shaman King Casts: **OH NO!...

**Kairi: **We're gonna have Fita for breakfast, lunch and dinner and for the rest of our miserable lives! –smiles goofily-

**Abie: **NO! and since when we're our lives miserable!

**Kairi: **uh…o.O

**Abie: **ANYWAY! My idea is we're going to make a Fita commercial!

**Shaman King Casts:** Awww…..Darn.

**Abie:** ...and Horo's gonna be our star!

**Horo Fangirls: **WAAH! HORO-SAMA! DAISUKIIIIIIIIII!

**Horo: **-eats a burrito- . 

**Kairi: **HEY! WHO LET THOSE STUPID FANGIRLS IN! SECURITY!

Pai Long enters, wearing a security guard uniform (duh!)…

**Jun (backstage): **Hey! Since when did MY Pai Long become a security guard!

**Kairi: **-grins at her mysteriously- YOU'RE Pai Long?...

**Pai Long: **-blushes-

**Jun: -**blushes and sweatdrops**- **Uh…ahh…I mean, MY KYONSHII!

**Kairi: **Oh. Well, since NOW!...now get those stupid fangirls out of here!

**Pai Long: **okie dokie!...c'mon fangirls…out of here. –throws fangirls into the studio dumpster one by one, each of them let out a scream that sounded like…

**Horo Fangirl 1: **Ho----

**Horo Fangirl 2: **Ro—

**Horo Fangirl 3: **Sa—

**Horo Fangirl 4: **Ma!-----

**Pai Long: **-shuts the dumpster lid with a bang- That takes care of 'em!...well, I'm off! –exits-

**Kairi: **Excellent, Pai Long! I'll do the screaming around here...OMGOSH! HORO-sama! I LOVE YOU! –hops around Abie-

**Abie: **TT oohhhkayyy…ANYWAY! Let's do the commercial! Come here, Horo! Help me organize the characters!

**Horo: **-finishes 50th burrito with a gulp- o.O huh?...i have a feeling that this is not gonna be good.

**LATER…**

**Abie: -**megaphone-and now we're ready! Places, everyone!

**Kairi: **-all smiles, swooning over Horo- he's so cute……look at that spiky blue hair of his…aww….oh how I long to touch it…and stroke it and---

**Abie: **-shouts at Kairi's ear-KAI! START THE STUPID NARRATION ALREADY!

**Kairi: **ACK! –falls over- uh, sorry!...okay, here goes! –clears throat- Shinra Private School, recess time…We see our beloved Horo –rips off shirt, revealing another shirt with MARRY ME, HORO printed on it-

**Abie: **o.O What the! This is a Rated K fiction not a Rated M!

**Kairi: **What? I have another shirt on! As if I'll strip in front of everyone! Pssh!

**Somebody from the audience, a guy named Bentot: **WOW! I'D LIKE TO SEE THAT ONE!

**Kairi: **grr! PERVERT! –throws Bricks at him- PAI LONG!

**Pai Long: **-enters the scene with kiss marks on his neck and cheeks- WHAT? I'm busy kissing Jun—Uhhh…I mean, I was busy shaving!

**Kairi: **-raises eyebrow- ya right!...THROW THIS STUPID PERVERT OUT! –points at Bentot-

**Pai Long: **alright, alright. Fine! But this is the last one, okay? No more interruptions with my…uh…SHAVING!

**Kairi: **WHATEVER! Just keep that pervert out of my sight this instant!...

**Pai Long: **okayyy…-pulls out walkie talkie and whispers to it- wait for me my love, I'll be there in a sec. okay? Roger. Over and out. –walks to Bentot, punches him squarely on the face, carries him like a suitcase and threw him in the dumpster with Horo's fangirls- in you go, Mr. Pervert. –rushes back to the backstage quickly-

**Bentot: **-looks at the girls- oohhhh…heaven…

**Horo Fangirls: **yahhhh! –runs around the dumpster with Bentot on their heels-

**BACK TO STUDIO…**

**Kairi: -**sees a Fita on the table- Oh! Fita! –reaches for it-

**Abie: **Kai! –slaps Kairi's hand with a paper fan- That's for the commercial!

**Kairi: **Ow! –rubs hand and pouts- sorry…

**Abie: **Continue with the narration or else!

**Kairi: **Okay, okay! I didn't know you were so…hot-headed…hmp…you stole my personality…-harrumphs more-

**Abie: **-glares-

**Kairi: **-sweat drops and reads the narration- We see Horo-sama, sitting on a bench along the hallways of the school…He pulls out a pack of Fita from his pocket. –drools but immediately wipes it off-

**Horo: **-looks at Fita- uh…I've never eaten this before. Is it---is it safe? Is it even edible?

**SK CAST: **DUH! It is a CRACKER!

**Horo: **oohhhh….okay! –rips open the Fita pack- here goes! –opens mouth-

**Abie: **Suddenly, a girl passed by and saw Horo's Fita.

**Pilika: **Hi Horo! –beams- Can I have your Fita?

**Horo: **-stares at Pilika blankly and quickly gobbled up the cracker-

**Kairi: **Of course that gesture meant No!

**Pilika: **Uh! That's just rude! HMP! –turns back swiftly and walks away-

**Horo: **-munches on- mmm…jeesh sheisht ghood!...-bits of Fita flying from his mouth-

**Abie: **Horo grabbed two pieces of Fita and he stared at it again. Coincidentally, the Asakura Twins arrived and they stopped by to try their luck on having the crackers.

**Hao: **-in Frat Boy accent- Yoh dude! Wazzup?

**Yoh: **-in Frat Boy accent as well- What, dude? You called me?

**Hao: **Nuhhh I didn't!...-punches Yoh playfully- but that was cool, man! Nuhahaha!

**Yoh: **-pauses (probably absorbing what Hao said)- ……...Nuhahaha!...-pauses again- I don't get it.

**Hao: **Duhahaha! Me too!...-sees Horo- Whoa, Fita!

**Yoh: **Where, dude! Where!

**Hao: **over there! –turns Yoh's head to Horo's direction-

**Horo: **-stares back at twins then looks at the ceiling, pretending he doesn't see them-

**Yoh and Hao: **-approaches Horo- Hey dude!

**Horo: **-quickly eats the two crackers at the same time before the twins reach him- munch….munch…

**Yoh: **-stops dead on his tracks- Dude! did ya see that! He ate the Fita!

**Hao: **-stops as well-Ya! Did ya see how he munched on TWO crackers at the same time! That was so cool!...

**Yoh: **Sweet!...he ate it all!...

**Hao: **yeah! No more Fita left for us dude!...but…Where did it go?

**Horo: o.O **–points at his stomach-

**Yoh: **Oh………………Now what? –looks at Hao-

**Hao: **……I dunno. Let's hit the beach!

**Yoh: **WHOA! THAT'S COOL DUDE! HIGH FIVE! –raises hand-

**Hao: **YEAH! SWEET! LOW FIVE! –extends hand and smacks it with Yoh's-

**Yoh and Hao: **-walks away, side by side, arm around each others neck-

**Horo: **Huh?...Did that scene actually happen? O.O

**Kairi: **Imagine it didn't. Anyway, when Horo was about to eat FIVE pieces of Fita, a group of cheerleaders entered, all wearing pigtails and (DUH!) cute, fluffy, cheerleading outfits.

**Cheerleaders: **HI HORO! –waves their pompoms as they formed a pose-

**Horo: **o.O

**Anna (left hand on waist, right arm stretched out): **-grunts- This is even worse than the Kitkat commercial.

**Tamao (both hands together, pompoms partially covering her face): **-blushes- Uhm…………-whines of embarrassment-

**Iron Maiden Jeanne (hands entwined in front of chest): **-eyes closed- Let's all pray that this will soon be over…-meditates-

**Manta (in the middle, waving his pompoms exaggeratingly): **YEAH! Give me an F! Give me an I! Give me a T! Give me an A! What does that spell! FITA! –jumps like a trying-hard cheerleader-

**Horo: **o.O ** ACK! **MANTA! What are you doing there!

**Manta: **……uh…-points at Kairi and Abie- THEY made me do it!

**Abie: **What? You're cute!

**Kairi: **Yeah! I mean, who else could we get?Jun is busy…uh…helping Pai Long with his "SHAVING"!

**Horo: **Whatever! Can I eat this now? –stares at Fita hungrily-

**Manta: **NO! We're still missing one cheerleader! We're supposed to be 5! I wonder where Ryu----

The Asakura Twins entered, dragging Ryu (wearing cheerleading outfit) by his feet with them.

**Yoh: **Hey, look who we found!

**Hao: **Good old Ryu, hiding behind the dumpster outside the studio!

**Ryu: **-scraping on the ground with his fingers as he was being dragged along- NOOOOOOOOO! I DON'T WANT TO BE A DAMN CHEERLEADER!

**Abie: **We're paying you for this, you know!

**Ryu: **GAH! I'd rather hang out with that perverted WHAT'S-HIS-NAME back in the dumpster than losing my dignity!...LET ME GO!

**Kairi: **We'll tell Master Mikihisa on you!

**Yoh: **Yeah, I'll tell Dad on you!

**Ryu: **Alright, fine! I'll do it! Just don't tell Master about this!

**Asakura Twins: **YAY! –lets go of Ryu and walks into the backstage-

**Yoh: **-whispers at Hao- I wonder what Jun and Pai Long are up to.

**Hao: -**grins- yeah, let's check them out. Hehehehe…

**Ryu: **-went to his position and mutters something a normal person wouldn't understand-………………

**Manta: **Glad you could join us, Ryu!

**Ryu: **Eh shaddap!...-waves pompoms lifelessly- Go team………stupid.

**Horo: **-eats Fita one by one- One, Anna. –munches on the 1st cracker- Choo, Chamaw. –does the same on 2nd cracker- Shree, Jeanne. –eats the 3rd but stops on the 4th and 5th – Manta? Ryu?...-shrugs and stuffs crackers on his face brutally- …………BURP! O.O

**Cheerleaders (girls only): **EEW! –walks out-

**Manta and Ryu: **-follows the girls- --

**Abie: **Finally, the last piece of Fita…Horo was disappointed because it was the last one.

**Kairi: **But! He had an idea! Oh Horo-sama, you're so smart!

**Horo: **-puts back last piece into the pack and he crushed the cracker into tiny pieces- Heh. -pours grinded Fita on his palm-

**Abie: **And….Oh boy, I love this part!...SEND OUT THE RATS!

What looked like 100 rats dressed up like girls swarmed into the scene.

**Horo: **o.O WHAT THE?

**Rat 1: **-squeek squeek- (Translation: HI HORO!)

**Rat 2: **-squee!-(WE LOVE YOU HORO!)

**Rat 3: **-squeep! Squeep!- (GIVE US THE FITA!)

**Horo: **AAAHHH! WHY RATS! –accidentally drops the crushed pieces and runs away-

**Kairi and Abie: **-giggles-

**Kairi: **And that was another funny commercial spoof brought to you by SHAMAN KING TV!

**Abie: **oh no, not again…-sighs- Where it overs your soul…can't we change that corny slogan?

**Kairi: **Nope! I like it! –gets trampled by Horo and the hundred rats-

**Abie: **Ah! Kairi! You okay?

**Kairi: **-swirly eyed on the ground- oh look! –points upward- tiny, dancing Horo's! Aren't they cute? –giggles and faints-

**Abie: **uh-huh………………think I'll go backstage and check out something interesting. See ya!

**BACKSTAGE (Extra story)…**

Abie found Jun and Pai Long in a disheveled state. Both of them came back to reality.

**Abie: **What have you guys been doing?

**Jun: **-arranges hair- N-nothing! Just…hanging out!

**Pai Long: **-blushes and hides kiss marks- uh…Shaving?

**Abie: **Hmmm…..? We're you two having an affair?

**Jun: **WHAT! Do we LOOK like we're having one?

**Abie: **Hm……by your disheveled looks, I say yes!

**Jun: **-laughs nervously- Don't be silly, Abie!

**Pai Long: **yeah! Look, I'm clean now! Jun-sama's really good at shaving!

**Abie: **Uh-huh. If you call that shaving.

**Jun: **No, seriously! We were just talking about something very important!

**Abie: **Like?

**Jun: **Like…uh…None of your business!

**Yoh and Hao: **-popped out behind props table-

**Yoh: **Did you get it, Hao?

**Hao: **-holds videocam- oh yeah, every bit of it.

**Jun and Pai Long: **o.O

**Abie: **-grins evilly-

**Yoh: **GREAT! Wait till Ren sees this one!

**Hao: **We'll call this "A KYONSHII AND A DAOSHII'S LOVE AFFAIR"! this will be a hit, I tell you!

**Yoh: **Let's make copies of it and sell it in the internet!

**Hao: **YEAH!

**Yoh and Hao: **-runs to Ren's dressing room-

**Jun: **NOOOOOOOOOOO! –chases after twins-

**Pai Long: **-sweat drops-

**Abie: **-stands beside Pai Long- So………How did it feel?

**Pai Long: **-hesitates but gives in- OH WOW! IT WAS AMAZING! SHE WAS A GREAT-----

**Abie: **...Shaver?

**Pai Long: **uh...yeah, sort of.

**Abie: **aww, that's so sweet!...I'm gonna tell Kairi! Teehee! –runs to the studio-

**Pai Long: **HUH! Oh no, what have I done!...MISS JUN! –runs after Jun-

Chocolove passed by, mopping the whole place, whistling an annoying tune.

**Chocolove: **Ugh, it's so dirty here. Looks like someone's been making out in here!

**Voice from Somewhere: **And now, what will happen to Jun's career now that the staff of SKTV knows about her affair with the security guard, Pai Long?

**Chocolove: **HUH! –looks around, aghast-

**Voice from Somewhere:** Will her brother Ren be horrified about this?

**Chocolove: **-backs away, still looking around- WHO THE HECK ARE YOU?

**Voice from Somewhere**: Will the Asakura Twins succeed in making their new-found documentary a hit!

**Chocolove: **-freaks out and runs out of backstage- THIS PLACE IS HAUNTED!

**Voice from Somewhere:** And will the Rats ever stop chasing Horo? Find out in the next installment of Shaman King TV!...Where it overs your soul! –gets hit by flying brick- ugh…pretty stars…-faints-

**TO BE CONTINUED…**

**Abie's Notes: **Uh...sorry if the story is out of topic. We were just in the mood for randomness now. Kairi influenced me. Anyway, thank you faithful reviewers! You know who you are!...please Review!

**Kairi's Notes: **Oh yeah, please help us think of other commercials that you think would be funny to be spoofed by us. Lol! Okay? We're open to comments and suggestions…just don't Flame us, ok? It kinda hurts.


End file.
